Proverbs Chapters 4-5 - John Karmelich

1. I call this lesson, "Picking the Right Woman". Let me say right now, this is not about dating! ☺

a) In Chapter 4, the topic is wisdom. That word wisdom is often referred to as a "she".

b) In Chapter 5, the topic is making good choices in marriage. Much of the chapter deals with the dangers of adultery. The idea of "picking the right woman" is also about the long term commitment to the right woman.

c) In both cases, it is like a father talking to a young man about "which woman to pick". Since most young men will actually pay attention to their fathers (for a short time) when it comes to sex, it makes a good analogy. ☺

2. Let's discuss these two chapters as they fit into all of Proverbs:

a) Chapters 4 and 5 are part of a nine-chapter introduction into the book. The remainder of Proverbs is the actual "poetic" proverbs that are usually in two-line verses. The last two chapters of this book are different in style and we'll get to those later.

b) Another point to understand is that the whole book of Proverbs is about how to have Godly wisdom. The word wisdom is about applying biblical principals to our lives. The first nine chapters focus on why wisdom is important. They give examples and illustrations on how and why wisdom is important to our lives.

c) My point is all of Proverbs deals with the issue of how to have wisdom. Proverbs changes its style of writing after the first nine chapters, but the underlying point is the different styles of writing are designed to teach us the same thing: How to have Godly wisdom.

d) An issue I brought up in the last lesson needs to be repeated here: Why have a nine chapter introduction? At first glance, it appears Chapters 1 through 9 essentially say over and over again in effect, "This is good godly wisdom, pay attention to it!"

i) Much of Chapters 4 and 5, in this lesson, repeat some of the same themes as the previous three chapters.

ii) The reason it is repeated is to stress the importance. Let's face it, we as humans have a shot term memory recall. It's important to emphasize what is important.

iii) Another illustration is an athlete. Most athletes will tell you the importance of practicing the fundamental aspects of their sport over and over again. A good athlete disciplines him or herself by constantly going over the "basics". That's sort of the idea here: The concepts taught in these first nine chapters are so important, they need to be stressed over and over again.

e) This brings us back to the main point of these first nine chapters: Godly wisdom.

i) The term "wisdom" essentially means to apply biblical advice to one's life. As anyone who has lived the Christian life can tell you, "head knowledge" is easy. The hard part is actually applying that knowledge to one's life.

ii) So why is this "wisdom thing" so important? This is about obedience. If we call Jesus, "Lord", then we are to do what He tells us! Applying Godly wisdom is about living a life that is pleasing to God in all that we do. It is how to live a fulfilling life, far greater than anything this world has to offer. Finally, it is also about how to be a good witness to those around us.

iii) The final point to emphasize is understanding the blessings promised for having wisdom. For example, good wisdom will give us a long and happy life. Well, some Christians do die young. The point is not that if we follow these guidelines, we will live a long life. The point is we can life a fulfilled life, no matter what is that time span. This book is not a recipe for financial success and long life. It is a set of instructions on how to life a life that is pleasing to God in all that we do.

3. Chapter 4, Verse 1: Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. ² I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. ³ When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, ⁴ he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.

a) Let's start by stating what the text says: It is a father giving good advice to a son. It was written from the perspective of the son. It is son saying in effect, "When I was a kid, my father took me aside and said the most important thing in life is to obey God's commandments. If you do that, you will have a happy and successful life."

b) Almost everybody is influenced by their parents, and wants to please them. The vast majority of parents love their children and want to see them do well in life. I state that as this chapter reads like a loving father wanting to tell his son what is best in life.

c) If you come from a family where you're father wasn't a good father, read this chapter pretending you did have a loving father! In a sense, we all have a loving Father. The reason God wants us to call Him our Father is to see Him as not only the leader of the family, but also one who loves us and wants to give us good instruction.

d) With all that said, this verse, along with the next set of verses, is all about receiving good knowledge so that we can make good decisions. To paraphrase this verse, it is a father saying to a son, "First of all, I can't tell you how much I love you. Because I love you, I want to see you prosper in all that you do in life. In order to do that, I beg you to hear what I have to say about the way life works and apply that knowledge to your life!"

e) Let me also state the obvious that this book does not just apply to boys. We are reading an illustration of a father talking to a son. This knowledge and wisdom applies to anyone and everyone of both sexes willing to listen to God's advice for our lives. It uses the analogy of father and son, partially because this advice was given to King Solomon by His father King David. In other words, this is a true story. Second, the image of a loving father giving good advice to a son is an image most people can relate to.

f) The interesting thing about these verses is that King Solomon had to learn this advice the hard way. This is usually true for most people. King Solomon is recalling from his childhood how his father told him in effect to obey God's commandments.

i) Solomon also wrote the book of Ecclesiastes as well as most of Proverbs. Ecclesiastes was written late in Solomon's life. That main point of Ecclesiastes says in effect, "I (Solomon) strayed away from God and tried all sorts of things. Those things included a life of pleasure, having fun, building things, and knowledge. Nothing is wrong with any of those things unto themselves, unless of course, they turn one away from one's commitment to God. That was my downfall."

ii) The last line, the conclusion of Ecclesiastes (See Ecc. 12:13-14) is essentially the same the same as Verse 4 here in Proverbs 5. The idea is "the main duty of man is to obey God's commandments." I believe Solomon realized how he had wasted many years of his adult life chasing after things that didn't have any long term benefit. That is when Solomon recalled the words his father spoke to him as a boy. Solomon learned the hard way that his father's advice was right.

iii) The lesson for Christians is to learn from Solomon hopefully, without having to learn the hard way, the mistakes of going down the wrong paths in life.

4. Verse 5: Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.

a) Remember this is a father imploring his son to get wisdom and understanding.

b) Let me quickly explain the difference between "wisdom and understanding" again:

i) The idea of "understanding" is about knowledge. It is the idea of knowing right from wrong. The idea of "wisdom" is how to apply that knowledge to our lives.

c) The text says not to "swerve" from them. The idea is in effect, "Son, what I am teaching you doesn't just apply to the next two months of your life. It goes on as long as you live."

5. Verse 6: Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.

a) This verse talks about the idea of wisdom as a form of protection.

b) It is best to explain this in illustrations: Suppose someone asks you to commit some sort of "little sin". Let's say they want you to lie for them (i.e., "bearing false witness"). Let's say they want you to go along with their plan to cheat on in some issue (i.e., "steal"). The temptation is to go along with them as we all want to be liked by our friends. We may not see the consequences of our actions at that moment. The way wisdom protects us is our brains think, "I cannot do this, as I am accountable to God in all that I do. As tempting as it to do this, the long term consequences are not worth saying yes to this temptation".

i) That is how wisdom "protects" us. It is not about a bunch of angels standing around us like secret service agents. ☺ It is about applying Godly knowledge as to make the right decisions in life. It does protect us from the harm of the consequences of bad decisions.

6. Verse 7: Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

a) The idea of "wisdom is supreme" is similar to some of the ideas taught in previous chapters. The idea is that applying godly wisdom is a priority over financial success, fame, or anything else in this life. It does not mean one ignores work or family for the sake of God. It means one applies the principals of godly wisdom to every aspect of one's life. It is foremost in all the decisions we make in life.

b) Now let's talk about the second sentence: "It will cost all that you have".

i) This sentence can also be translated, "No matter what else you do". The main idea is that wisdom is the most important thing in one's life.

ii) Jesus said in effect the same thing, "Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it". (Matthew 10:38-39, NIV).

iii) The point is Jesus says we have to give up everything to follow Him. What does that mean practically? It means Jesus becomes a priority over every other aspect of our lives. It means that we live our lives to please Him in all that we do. We still have the freedom to live whatever life we want, but we choose to live a life that is pleasing to God. In other words, we make decisions every day based on what we believe is biblically right or wrong.

iv) This leads me back to a phrase in Verse 7: "Thought it cost all that you have".

a) To live a life for God is about turning every aspect of our lives over to God in trust. It is constantly saying to God, "OK, I really want to do this, but You want me to do the other, so I'll trust Your judgment and do it your way." It is about looking at different aspects of our lives and adjusting them in conformity to God's will.

7. Verse 8: Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. ⁹ She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."

a) The opening line of this study was ""Picking the Right Woman". One reason I choose that title is wisdom is described as a female. The idea is "Pick this woman named wisdom" as one's life long mate. (Obviously, if you are a female reading this, change the sex. ☺) The word picture here is about "marrying wisdom". When I say marriage, I mean a whole, complete commitment in every aspect of the word.

b) The idea is to take the biblical concepts of about how to live a life pleasing to God and embrace them as truth. If we do so, God promises those truths will bless our life.

8. Verse 10: Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. ¹¹ I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. ¹² When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. ¹³ Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.

a) From Verses 10-14 we have promises made if we embrace godly wisdom for our lives.

b) Let's summarize the blessings in these verses:

i) "The years of your life will be many. " (Verse 11);

ii) "(I) will lead you along straight paths. " (Verse 12);

iii) "You will not stumble. " (Verse 13).

c) OK, time for disclaimers: ☺

i) Does this guarantee that if we obey God every moment of every day we will live 200 years and never stumble in life? Of course not. We still live in a sinful world and have to suffer the consequences of those sons.

ii) These verses are generalizations. It is generally true that if one follows God's way of living, one will live a happy fulfilled life. It is sin that causes us to stumble, and therefore, it is the avoidance of sin that generally leads us to a fulfilled life.

d) The contract between God and ourselves is that we if we stick close to Him, He promises to stick close to us. He promises to bless our lives if we are willing to receive it. That doesn't mean we won't have problems. He promises to see us through such times. The key is our attitude during such times. He is asking us to trust Him when life gets difficult.

i) Grant it, it is not easy. Sometimes we have to work in small steps. Sometimes I have to pray things like, "Lord, help me deal with the pain for the next 5 minutes." God promises to meet us as our level and help us to cope with any situation.

9. Verse 14: Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. ¹⁵ Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.

a) Verses 14-15 are the "opposite" of the previous verses. Remember Proverbs often speaks in "contrasts", where it contrasts the positives and negatives aspects in adjoining verses.

i) After giving us a bunch of verses on the positive benefits of sticking close to God, we now have a set of verses warning us of the danger of turning from Him.

b) Verse 14 and 15 are saying in effect, "Do you see those people over there? You're bible-based knowledge says they are evil. Yes, we are to judge people's behavior! Are they asking you to join them in their sin? Go run in the opposite direction. Tell them, "Excuse me, I'll be right back, ☺ and run away as fast you can!"

i) This may sound obvious, but stop and think of all the people in jail because they made a bad decision as a young man or woman. Stop and think of all the people killed because they joined the wrong group of "friends".

ii) This verse has nothing to do with those who are innocently killed. This is about choices in life, which is why I call the lesson, "Picking the right woman".

10. Verse 16: For they cannot sleep till they do evil; they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall. ¹⁷ They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.

a) These two verses finish the thought on evil people. They are saying in effect, "Those that are evil are going to do commit sort of sin, sooner rather than later. Avoid them, because they will get you in trouble in a short time span.

b) The verse actually says, "They cannot sleep till they do evil". I am convinced for those who rebel against God and His laws, this is true. I'm not talking about the "average" person who gives God lip service every now and then, but the person who willfully and constantly rebels against God and against all that is good. Committing crimes is acting out what is in their hearts. Another example is the addict who steals to support their habit. The point is one becomes consumed by one's sins and in that sense, they "can't sleep" until they have satisfied that sinful desire.

c) Verse 17 is a colorful way of emphasizing Verse 16. In Verse 17, the evil person "eats and drinks" what is sinful. The idea of both verses is the way to tell such a person is that sin is an all consuming aspect of their lives.

11. Verse 18: The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. ¹⁹ But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.

a) Here is another pair of verses where one idea is contrasted to another. These two verses contrast which path to choose in life.

b) Notice that God does want us to judge the behavior of others. God is saying in effect, "Look around you and look how people behave. You can choose which people to hang out with based on their behavior." This is not about abandoning God-fearing people when they fall. It is about avoiding those who don't fear God in the first place.

c) Remember the biblical idea of the "simple" is one who is naive. Such a person has no discernment about who to pick as for example, friends. The underlying idea of these verses is to teach people how to have discretion in what we choose in life.

d) With all of that said, Verses 18 and 19 expand upon the idea of good discernment:

i) Verse 18 says in effect, "If you stick close to God and study His commandments, one's discernment will get better and better in life. The ability to make good Godly decisions in life will grow as you mature."

ii) Verse 19 says the same thing but with a negative example. It is saying in effect, "If you turn from God, one's life will be worse and worse and you can't explain why everything is going wrong."

e) This leads to a quick reminder about discerning "God's will" for our lives. God is not going to audibly tell us what decisions to make. He teaches us to walk by faith. God says in effect: "Pray for guidance and diligently learn your bible. Then trust that I (God) am guiding you in the daily decisions of life." That is what Verse 18 is all about.

12. Verse 20: My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. ²¹ Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; ²² for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

a) Here in these verses we are getting more reminders to stick close to God. Imagine a father lecturing his son. The son is rolling his eyes at the father's lecture. The father is saying, "Son, I know you think you know better, but you don't. I have to repeat myself over and over again, until this sinks in! I'm trying to save your life here!"

i) The problem is we as humans have this bad habit of wanting to rebel. Whether we like it or not, we need to hear over and over again from God the necessity of sticking close to Him. One reason Jesus compares believers to sheep is that sheep are very prone to wander in the wrong direction. That's us.

b) With all of that lecturing in mind, here are a few more verses telling us to stick closely to God and focus on His commandments constantly. When I say "constantly", I mean that one should allocate time every day for prayer and time with God's words. When we don't do that, it is when we too are prone to wonder like sheep.

c) I have to admit its tough reading some of these same concepts over and over again and discuss them. I have to remind myself that God is emphasizing how important it is by repeating these ideas over and over again. The repetition of the concept of "stick close to God" is stated often in this chapter as a reminder to us of its importance.

13. Verse 23: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

a) Let's stop and think about the heart as a word-picture. The heart as an organ has the job of pumping blood all through one's body. The reason the heart (and not the brain) is used the heart gets the blood all through the body. The word picture is God wants his wisdom spread all through one's body. It is a colorful way of telling us to make all of this information part of one's life. Don't let it just be "head knowledge" that we fail to apply.

b) The context of Verse 23 is about making good decisions in life. The idea is if we stick close to God and apply the principals taught in this book, then we are guarding our heart.

14. Verse 24: Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

a) Let's read Verse 24 in context of a statement by Jesus, "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." (Matthew 15:18-19, NIV).

i) Jesus' point is the mouth (as used for speaking) is only an instrument of what one thinks on the inside.

ii) Let me explain this with an example. Suppose you said to the police, "I didn't really want to steal that money, but my right arm forced my body to follow along and it was really my right arm that stole it. It wasn't my fault!"

a) Yes, that's silly, but it makes a point. The right arm (or left arm) does not make the decisions, our will makes the decisions. The same applies to what comes out of the mouth. We can't blame the mouth. It is what we are thinking in our hearts (i.e., our inner soul) that comes out.

b) With all of that in mind, re-read Verse 24. Go ahead, I'll wait for you right here. ☺

i) Verse 24 is not saying to tape our mouths shut. It is saying in a poetic way that if we want to keep evil things from coming out of our mouths, it starts with not having those thoughts in our hearts.

ii) The other point is when we have such thoughts, we are not to act on them.

c) "What about the person who cuts me off in traffic? What do I do with my desire to kill them?" ☺ The correct answer (which I fail to apply myself!) is to pray for them. In other words, give that negative thought to God. See that person as someone who needs Jesus and not some person who did a bad thing.

i) My point is not about traffic safety, but about perspective. The bible is teaching us to watch what comes out of our mouth. We do that, by "working with the heart". That is, sticking close to God and asking His help to guide us. That is the only way we can prevent the "bad stuff" from coming out of our mouth.

d) So, what do we do when we mess up and say the wrong thing? First of all, welcome to club. ☺ The correct answer is to apologize. Confess the sin as wrong. If you can't confess it to the person you hurt, do it to God. Sin causes guilt and that guilt blocks our relationship with God. It must be cleared out as soon as possible.

15. Verse 25: Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. ²⁶ Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. ²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

a) This chapter finishes with an encouragement to never give up. The idea of these verses is to keep on making the right decisions; keep on focusing our lives upon God, keep up with our commitment.

b) I called this lesson "Picking the Right Woman" and I meant it. The "woman" of choice here is wisdom. Remember I'm speaking in metaphors. If you're a woman, reverse the sex. The idea is one is to cling to wisdom as if one made a marriage commitment to her.

c) Remember why one makes a marriage commitment: Out of love for that person. In a healthy marriage, we give ourselves "fully" to our spouse in that we make our spouse a priority over ourselves. We stick to our commitment because we made that commitment. Our commitment to God is similar. It is based on the gratitude of what Jesus did for us and based on our love for