Gospel of Matthew Chapter 19 -- John Karmelich

1. The most important sentence to learn in this lesson is as follows:

a) “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matt. 26:19 NIV)

i) That is a quote of Verse 26 of Chapter 19, other than the “Jesus said” part.

ii) If you can grasp the implications of that one sentence, the rest of the chapter is just further commentary.

iii) To live a happy, fulfilled life requires getting God involved in the process.
The things we consider “impossible” are possible through God.

a) No matter how bad the situation, no matter how impossible it may be to achieve a particular goal, anything can be done through God.

b) If you don’t believe that, your concept of God is too small!

b) There, you are now done for the week, unless you want to get some more details. J

2. Chapter 4 is Jesus teaching on several lessons:

a) The first is about marriage in Verses 1-10.

b) The second is about those who stay single all their lives in Verses 11-12.

c) The third is about letting children come to Jesus in Verses (13-14)

i) A point being is that Jesus is not just for adults!

d) The fourth is about a rich young ruler asking Jesus what it takes to please God in
Verses 15-26. Jesus uses this opportunity to teach his followers about God and money.

e) The final story is about the disciples’ rewards in heaven for following Jesus.

f) In summary, we have the issues of marriage, raising children, God and money, and life after the resurrection all covered in thirty verses.

g) Each one of these could be a lesson unto itself.

i) In most of these little stories, we have somebody complaining about how difficult it is to live out that aspect (e.g., good marriage, dealing with money) and still be pleasing to God.

ii) The solution again, is Verse 19, where Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

3. Before I begin, it is time for some disclaimers. J

a) I by no means am a perfect person, and I have some faults as well as you.

i) I know this is difficult to believe, but it is true. J

b) My point is to read this chapter, and some of the implications behind Jesus teaching and to see them as goals to be obtained.

c) I’ve yet to meet a person who can live 100% of the time like Jesus wants us to live. If that person existed, they could get to heaven and tell Jesus “move over”. J

d) Jesus teachings are goals for us to focus upon and keep our eyes upon.

i) When we fail, we simply confess that sin and get back on track.

e) Therefore, if I accidentally the pronoun “you” for an application, I should be using “we”.

i) Further, if you read this and think, “my spouse should be reading this”, stop and remember the verse about Jesus saying, “why do you criticize the speck of dust in your brother’s eye when you have a beam of wood in your eye?” (Matt. 7:3)

f) With that said, let’s jump into Verse 1.

4. Verse 1: When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. ² Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

a) The first question is, “When Jesus had finished saying these things…” What things?

i) In the previous chapter, Jesus was teaching his disciples various lessons on forgiveness and who is the greatest in heaven.

ii) At this point, it was time for Jesus to leave his home base around Galilee and southeast toward Jerusalem.

b) This is the final trip toward Jerusalem. From this point onward, all the events lead up toward the cross.

c) Notice that Jesus is now going “toward the other side of the Jordan”.

i) If you look at your bible maps, you are now outside of “modern-Israel-proper”.

a) The west side of the Jordan is Israel. Jesus is now going to the east side.

b) This is King Herod’s jurisdiction, the one who had John the Baptist killed.

(1) That will become important when we get to Verse 3.

d) The simple point of this verse is that Jesus felt it was time to move on from Galilee and now base his operations at a new point.

e) I liked the part about how large multitudes followed Jesus and he healed them there.

i) Jesus focused on his next phase of operations, which was getting to this new point.

ii) Then he could focus on those who needed healing.

iii) Can you just picture blind or crippled people following Jesus thinking, “When is this guy going to stop and help me?” J

iv) There is a point of healing, but we have to wait on God’s timing.

5. Verse 3: Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

a) At this point in Jesus’ ministry he was very popular among the common people.

b) The religious leadership saw him as a threat to their religious power.

c) At this time in history, there were two Jewish “schools of thought” on divorce.

i) The more popular view is that a man could divorce his wife for any reason. Something as simple as “burning my breakfast” would be considered a good enough reason for divorce.

ii) Another school of thought was the only legal grounds for divorce is adultery.

iii) In Deuteronomy 24:1, it teaches that divorce is permitted if some “uncleanness” is found in a woman, than a man may divorce her.

a) The debate is whether or not “uncleanness” meant adultery or some simple thing again, like burning a breakfast.

b) The point here is that you have two popular views in play.

iv) The Pharisee’s were hoping to make Jesus take sides in a debate.

a) They were hoping his popularity would dwindle by making Jesus take one view or the other on this issue.

d) Remember I said earlier that this is Herod’s jurisdiction.

i) Remember Herod had John the Baptist put to death because John criticized Herod for having an adulterous relationship with his sister-in-law. Herod’s wife was still alive, and thus was adultery. (It was the sister-in-law, in her anger at John making for making the accusation, got John killed.)

ii) Therefore, there is a strong possibility that the Pharisee’s wanted Jesus to comment on divorce here and now, in order to get Jesus in trouble in Herod’s jurisdiction.

iii) If Jesus was teaching like John on divorce, maybe Herod would arrest him.

6. Verse 4: "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,' <sup>5</sup> and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

a) The Pharisee’s asked if it was lawful to divorce a woman for any reason.

b) Jesus began his response by ignoring the question and moving on to the bigger issue of marriage itself.

i) Divorce happens out of frustration over a bad marriage.

ii) Adultery is often a symptom of a bigger problem in a bad marriage.

iii) Before Jesus can comment on the specifics of divorce, Jesus wants to get to the root-issue of how to deal with marriage in the first place.

c) Before I get into the specifics of Jesus teaching on marriage, notice how Jesus handled the situation of a debatable issue.

i) Instead of going to the debate question itself, Jesus went one step higher to the root cause.

a) This is a good idea to remember when we have a family split or a church split on a particular debate issue.

b) A good application is the best way to solve the issue is to consider the root-cause of the problem. Often there is some deeper anger or deep rift in a group that is coming out in the form of this debate question.

c) I have watched debate issues die much more quietly if we keep our family-love or church-love perspective in focus before dealing with the particular issue of the day.

d) On a related idea, think back of all the fights you’ve had say, with your spouse, or parents. Often you remember the fights, but you can’t remember the particular issue you were fighting over!

d) Let’s get back to the verses themselves. Jesus uses this question about when it is proper to divorce to teach about marriage itself.

i) Notice Jesus can use his enemies’ tactics to teach us valuable lessons!

ii) Jesus is also putting down the Pharisee’s in a way it is difficult for us to see.

a) Pharisees prided themselves in knowing their bibles extremely well.

b) They would memorize major sections on a word-by-word basis.

c) For Jesus to say, “have you never read” a particular passage is a dig.

d) Jesus point, as we will learn later, is that the Pharisees were focusing on the wrong scriptures. They were busy debating about divorce when they should be thinking more about the issue of marriage.

e) In Verse 4, Jesus says that, “(He) `made them male and female” and in Verse 5, Jesus says that “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife”

i) I could get into the whole political topic here of homosexual marriage, but verses like this make it real clear what was God’s intention on marriage.

a) These verses state that God himself ordained the concept of marriage.

b) Further, Verses 4-5 indicate that it was God’s intention for males and females to marry each other.

ii) Remember also that all things were created through Jesus (ref: John 1:2, Col. 1:16).

a) That means that as Jesus was speaking, he was talking about how he created us “male and female”.

b) It was God’s design for us to leave our parents and be joined to a wife.

(1) Yes, some people are called to be single. Jesus will tackle that issue after he finishes this discourse on marriage.

(2) There are acceptable times for divorce, and we’ll get to that issue in a few verses.

(3) First, we need to talk about marriage itself and God’s ideal.

iii) The idea that God created us “male and female” is to state that we are different.

a) It is difficult for men and women to get along partially because we think differently and process information differently.

b) There is a popular Christian book out called, “Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti” by Bill and Pam Farrel

(1) They explain why a man’s brain (thought process) is like a waffle where each element of his life is in a separate box, and
why a woman’s brain is like spaghetti, where everything in her life touches everything else, and what these differences mean.

(2) My point here is not to plug this book, but this book does give a great example of how men and women think differently.

c) Going back to the current debate issue of homosexual marriage, I can understand their argument about a “happy relationship” because men think-more alike and women think-more alike.

(1) Men can get along better with men than women because we think more alike. The problem is that is not what God intended.

(2) God knew men and women would struggle to be together.

(3) The first marital argument is in the Garden of Eden when they were busy blaming each other and Satan for the apple-incident. J

d) So if God knew it was a struggle for men and women to live together, why did he do this? Does God enjoy our arguments? Of course not!

e) This gets back to my premise of “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

(1) The secret of a successful marriage is a God-centered marriage as opposed to an each other centered marriage.

(2) The only way a marriage can survive and have happiness is if God is the center of the marriage.

(3) Remember that God wants a relationship with us. Therefore he designed men and women differently, knowing there would be struggles, to keep us close to God. (If God’s goal was to keep us close to Him, this idea is brilliant!)

f) With that in mind, let’s look at Verse 6 again.

7. Verse 6: So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

a) When you become married, your wife or your husband becomes part of you.

b) Divorcing your spouse is like divorcing your right arm. Your spouse is as much a part of you as your right or left arm. You are one.

i) If you remember that the next time, you argue, I promise it won’t be so bad! J

c) Let’s think about the implications about “let man not separate”.

i) Jesus is not talking about other people as much as the husband/wife themselves.

ii) Our frustrations over our desires versus our spouse’s desires cause arguments and in the worse cases, divorces.

a) There are other issues, and we’ll talk about them in a few pages.

iii) I remember reading a survey about American Christians who get divorced.

a) The rate is not that much different from the general public.

b) The exception, according to a survey by Barna (popular Christian pollster) is that couples that pray together regularly have a very low divorce rate!

8. Verse 7: "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" ⁸ Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

a) Remember that Jesus ignored the question and talked about marriage.

i) It is almost as if the Pharisees could care less about what Jesus just said.

ii) It would be as if they just said, “Yeah, yeah, we know all that, but what about the divorce issue?”

a) Their anxiety to get Jesus involved in the debate issue was so strong that Jesus word’s about marriage is irrelevant to them.

iii) That is so sad when people are so angry or so hostile, they can no longer hear the logic of God’s words because they want to focus on a particular argument.

b) The bible verses the Pharisees were referring to are the first verses of Deuteronomy 24.

i) The first section of that chapter deals with divorce and re-marriage.

c) Before I discuss divorce, notice the word “Moses” by both Jesus and the Pharisee’s.

i) There are modern critics of the bible who claim that Moses himself never wrote the first five books of the bible.

ii) There is a very simple rebuttal:

a) Jesus quotes all five of these books.

b) Jesus attributes all five of these books to Moses throughout the Gospels.

c) Therefore, if you believe Jesus is God, then you must believe Moses wrote the first five books of the bible.

d) If you don’t believe Jesus is God, you have much bigger problems than who wrote the first five books of the bible. J

d) Now let’s discuss Jesus word’s about divorce itself. Jesus opened with “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.”

i) Jesus’ point is that God desires a relationship with us.

ii) God uses marriage and family as the ideal model of a relationship.

a) The word most-often used for love (“ag-ah'-pay” in Greek) means to totally give of yourself to the one you love.

b) The ideal marriage is when we give of ourselves and put our spouses’ needs above our own.

c) The ideal marriage is when both partners are busy trying to outdo each other in pleasing their partner.

d) That ideal is what God wants in our relationship with Him. The difference is we can’t outdo God no matter how hard we try! If we live our life in service to God and do what God commands us to do, God will bless us far greater than we could ever do in our service to God.

e) Because God desires that relationship between us and Him so much, God permits divorce in order to keep that God-us relationship alive.

f) Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. That is Jesus point. It is discouraged and to live a Godly life prevents divorce. But if the “hardness of our hearts” leads to divorce, God still wants that relationship.

(1) That is why Jesus said, “Moses permitted you to divorce.”

(2) When you go through Paul’s letters, Paul lists several places where if one continues in “these sins”, you are condemned to hell. Divorce is never listed on any of those lists.

(3) My point of this is there are situations where divorce is acceptable.

(4) One should use biblical wisdom in making that decision.

iii) The next issue is Jesus answering the question about divorce. Jesus says in effect that divorce is only allowed in cases of adultery.

a) By the way, nowhere in the bible does it say that divorce is required in cases of adultery, only that it is permitted.

b) If you recall, Paul also spends some time discussing the appropriateness of when a believer and a non-believer are to get divorced.

(1) To paraphrase, Paul said that if a non-believer leaves the marriage of a believer, the believer can choose to accept that divorce.

(2) Paul also says that if the non-believer does choose to stay in the marriage, the believer should stay for the sake of being a good witness to the non-believing spouse. (Ref: 1^st Corinthians Chap. 7)

iv) People always ask about “what if my spouse is physically abusive or has some sort of drug addiction?”

a) I would argue for separation at this point, but not necessarily divorce.

b) This is a long topic unto itself, but Jesus point as it relates to Matthew is to think about the root-purpose of marriage and the reasons for divorce. It is all about giving glory to God.

c) In difficult situations, I encourage good Christian counseling. Please go yourself if need be if your spouse is not interested.

9. Verse 10: The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

a) Personally, I find this verse comical.

i) Picture a bunch of young men saying, “Gee, if we can only get divorced if our wives sleep with somebody else, we’re better off not marrying in the first place.
I can barely put up with her as she is!” J

b) We know that Peter was married. Jesus healed Peter’s mother in law (Luke 4:38-39).

c) What Jesus is trying to get into their head is the idea of “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

i) It is only possible to have a healthy marriage through God.

ii) Occasionally, you will hear of a “happy atheist” marriage. God does give some people great abilities to have self-discipline. I will argue that because no one is perfect, sooner or later, something will go wrong. God designed us with a need to worship something. If we ignore that need, the problems will arise in marriage and other aspects of our lives.

a) There is an old Jewish idiom that says, “The happiest people I know are the ones who I don’t know very well”.

b) The point is if you think another couple has their act together and appear very happy, get to know them better.

d) I’m going to end this marriage section with a cute story about two pastors.

i) Pastor #1pastor was trying to counsel a man who was having martial problems.

ii) Pastor #2, who is a “crusty” older fellow, was passing by in the hallway.

iii) Pastor #1 says, Hey #2, this guy I’m talking to is trying to stay married without the help of the Holy Spirit.

iv) Pastor #2 replied, “That guy is an idiot!”

v) While this exchange lacks tact and diplomacy, it makes a good point.

vi) Trying to have a good marriage without prayer, without the power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives, makes us “idiots” for trying to do it ourselves. God wants that relationship with Him. God wants us to work through Him to have a happy marriage.

10. Verse 11: Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. ¹² For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

a) Jesus is now talking about people who never marry.

b) Peter just asked made the statement about “it is better not to marry”, and these 2 verses are Jesus’ comment on Peter’s statement.

c) The specific topic of verses 12-13 is about “eunuchs”.

i) Some eunuchs were physically castrated so they couldn’t have sexual intercourse.

ii) Jesus is saying in effect “some eunuchs were born that way, and some were made that way and some choose still have the ability to have children, but choose to live that way.”

iii)       &nb