Chapter 31 – John Karmelich

1. As I read Chapter 31, I kept thinking of the expression: “The apples don’t fall from the tree”.

a) It is an expression that refers to the fact that the children often act like their parents.

b) You can often see good or bad personality traits passed on from generation to generation.

c) Notice this verse in Exodus:

i) “Yet he (God) does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation." (Exodus 34:7b NIV)

a) This verse does not mean that children get punished for the sins of their parents. God specifically states that fact in Ezekiel 18:20.

ii) This verse in Exodus means that the children will feel the effect of sins often to the 3^rd and 4^th generation. If a father is physically abusive, or an alcoholic, the damage to the children can be passed on for several generations.

iii) On a positive note, most of the pastors I have met in my lifetime are the children of pastors. I have seen the positive side of Christianity rub off on children.

iv) Unfortunately, bad traits are also past on. Children desire to emulate their parents and want to please them. They often take on parents’ negative characteristics, sometimes unknowingly. It never occurs to people that the way their parents acted is wrong, and take on some of the same characteristics.

d) I bring all of this up as we see this in Chapter 31.

e) If you remember Laban is Jacob’s father in law, and also his boss at work.

i) We will discover that Laban not only has two daughters, but also some sons.

ii) Those sons, are truly the sons-of-Laban, both physically and in terms of their character traits. We will also read of Laban’s daughters having some similar personality traits of their father.

iii) Laban’s “god” is money. Laban is the kind of guy more interested in making a buck than going to church. He is the kind of guy who would say today, “Why should I care about all of that religious stuff? I’ve got a family to support”.

iv) Always remember that everyone has a “god”. Look how someone spends their spare time or look at someone’s checkbook and you’ll find out what their “god” is. If you choose to ignore the true God, a substitute will always exist.

2. The other classic expression that comes into play in Chapter 31 is “If you point a finger at someone else, there is always three fingers pointing back at you”.

a) Stop and point your finger as if you are accusing someone of a crime. Notice the other three fingers are pointing back in your direction.

b) In this chapter you will read of Jacob’s anger lashing out at Laban. This chapter marks the end of a 20-year relationship between Laban and Jacob.

i) For seven years, Jacob worked to marry both wives.

ii) Jacob agreed to work for another 7 years as a “dowry payment” for both wives.

iii) Jacob worked another 6 years before God told him it was time to leave. (Verse 38).

c) One of the big picture ideas to get from this chapter is God is working on Jacob by trying to make him “see himself through others”.

i) Sometimes God puts in your life people who are a lot like yourself. You may ask yourself, “Why do I have to deal with this person?” What God may be trying to show you is that a lot of your own faults are reflective in those around you.

ii) Unfortunately, this is also true in marriages and family relationships. We easily see faults in our spouses or our parents or fill-in-the-blank, and fail to see that same fault in our lives. We are so busy concentrating on the “accusation finger” and fail to see the other three fingers pointing at ourselves.

3. This is where the two “cliché’s of the day” tie together:

a) “The apples don’t fall from the tree” and “If you point a finger at someone else, there is always three fingers pointing back at you”.

b) We often pick friends our spouses similar to our parents or ourselves. We fail to see our own character defects because we are too busy staring at those around us.

c) Remember that when someone who has turned their life over to God, He then wants to mature us and make us better people. One of the big-purposes of life is to prepare us for eternal life with Him. In order to accomplish this, God wants to mature us. Part of that maturity is to see our own faults in life. God allows people and circumstances to happen in our lives so we can eventually “get it” and see our own character defects.

4. Which, surpringsly, leads us back to Genesis 31. J

a) This is a chapter about Jacob wrapping up his 20-year relationship with Laban.

b) Jacob takes his wives, concubines and children and moves away.

c) This is the last we ever read of Laban.

d) There is no blunt verse where Jacob says, “I now realize that God put me through all of this for a reason”. There is no verse where Jacob confesses his own faults to God.

i) It is only after Jacob looks back over his life to date that he realizes how God’s hand was there all the time.

e) What God wants from us to see in this chapter is not just to see Jacob’s flaws, or those of Laban. God wants us to reflect upon our own lives, especially in how we deal with those around us. Many of the flaws of which we accuse others we are often guilty of ourselves.

i) Stop and think about the people around us. Instead of complaining about how they are treating you, stop and think, “What is God trying to teach me about my own life in this circumstance?”

ii) God is trying to get us out of “victim” mode. He doesn’t want us to have pity parties for ourselves, but to learn from our circumstances so we can move on.

iii) There are of course, times to grieve during rough moments, but there are also times to move on from that grief. This chapter is an illustration of these points.

f) With all that in mind, let’s start Chapter 31:

5. Verse 1: Jacob heard that Laban's sons were saying, "Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father." ² And Jacob noticed that Laban's attitude toward him was not what it had been.

a) Here we discover that Laban had sons as well as his two daughters.

b) Labon’s two daughters were influenced by Jacob and his relationship with God. The sons appear to be a lot like their father. The father was a money-first-God-second type of guy, and that influence carried on to their sons.

c) Notice the sons did not say, “Well, God has blessed Jacob, good for him!”.

i) Notice the sons did not say, “Well, this god of Jacob must be powerful, maybe we should ask Jacob some questions about his God and change our lifestyle!”

ii) It is more like, “Hey, he’s getting rich off of dad and us”.

iii) The application is don’t expect nonbelievers to change just because God is blessing you at the moment. People will credit your happiness or your success to anything but God. They will say it is “random luck” or your circumstances, or your conniving, but to actually change their heart to God is another story.

d) It is God and God-only that changes people’s hearts toward Him. God asks that we be good witnesses to the outside world. God requests that we pray for others to turn their hearts toward God.

i) “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (1^st Timothy 2:3-4 NIV)

ii) When we are being a good witness, some people act favorably and start the process of changing their lives and some resist. Laban’s kids resist!

e) There is a “basic purpose” for their attitude change. God wanted Jacob to go back to the Promised Land to where he was born. God is behind the circumstances of the change of Laban’s sons’ attitude.

i) That alone is a reminder to us that God is often working in the background of our lives. We don’t always understand why “certain things are happening”, but never discount the possibility that it is God himself may be behind certain actions.

6. Verse 2: Then the LORD said to Jacob, "Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you."

a) Out of nowhere, God decides to speak to Jacob. J

b) The text does not say that Jacob turned to God in prayer because of the Laban’s attitude. It just says God spoke and said to Jacob in effect, “time to get going”.

c) The “big-picture” is that originally God wanted Jacob to leave his parents and go to this place, where he is currently living, get a wife and some kids. Jacob ends up with two wives, two concubines and 12 children to date (11 boys and 1 girl). This family, plus another son to come, forms the nucleus of the Israeli people. This family goes to Egypt and starts the nation that will eventually be the great Exodus out of Egypt.

d) Through the day by day circumstances of Jacob’s life, it was hard for him to see the big picture. Only after looking back can he see how God is working in our lives.

e) The great lesson of Jacob is that God chooses to use anyone He pleases. If God can use a conniving person like Jacob, God can use you and me. To anyone simply willing to turn their hearts toward God, God then takes over and controls our lives to his Glory. We may not see the results on a day by day basis, but we can look back at our lives and see how God’s hands were behind all the actions and circumstances of our lives.

f) Notice God said, “I will be with you”. It is not meant to say that God was not with him through the whole time frame with Laban. This verse is meant to convey the message, “Be obedient about going back home and I will continue to bless you”.

7. Verse 4: So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were.
⁵ He said to them, "I see that your father's attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. ⁶ You know that I've worked for your father with all my strength, ⁷ yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me. ⁸ If he said, `The speckled ones will be your wages,' then all the flocks gave birth to speckled young; and if he said, `The streaked ones will be your wages,' then all the flocks bore streaked young. ⁹ So God has taken away your father's livestock and has given them to me.

a) Jacob’s next job is to convince his two wives it is time to go. God only spoke to Jacob, so Jacob needs to convey that message to his wives.

b) Both Rachel and Leah only know the life under their father. Even though they have been married to Jacob for 13 years now (Jacob states later he has worked for Laban for 20 years, and Jacob married both girls after 7 years). The only “life” these girls knew was here in the City of Haran under their father’s guidance.

c) There is a marriage principal that is important here.

i) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)

ii) Biblical marriage is often nicknamed “leave and cleave”. It is an expression taken from the King James Bible referring to the fact a that when a couple gets married, not only do they cling to each other (“cleave”), but they shall leave the life of their parents (“leave”).

a) This does not mean when you get married, you are to immediately move 500 miles away from your in-laws! It refers to your mental attitude. You are no longer the “son or daughter of your parents”, but you are now the “wife or husband of your spouse”.

iii) I mention “leave and cleave”, as it is important here. You can sense the mixed loyalty with Rachel and Leah between their father Laban versus Jacob. Jacob makes this speech here to show the superiority of God over their father Laban.

d) With that in mind, this is a good time to re-read Verses 4-9. Go ahead, I’ll wait! J

i) Jacob is showing the superiority of God to Laban’s actions. Notice how Jacob gives all the credit to God for his success and not himself.

ii) This is the same Jacob who got his father’s blessing by deceiving and lying to his father. This is the same Jacob who “black-mailed” his brother into giving him his birthright. Jacob-the deceiver is now Jacob giving God the credit for his success.

iii) Jacob is giving his “testimony” to his wives. He states that despite the fact that Laban has changed Jacob’s wages ten times, God has still blessed Jacob throughout these circumstances.

iv) Notice Jacob does not say, “Look, girls, you are my wives. God said its time to go, so let’s get packing!” Instead, Jacob uses this opportunity to teach them how God has been working in his life.

v) This is a great lesson in telling others about your relationship with God. People will deny the bible as the Word of God, but they cannot deny or challenge your testimony about how God has worked in your life. Sometimes the best witness is to simply tell how God has been working in your life to others.

e) The specifics of the verse are interesting to think about.

i) Jacob was a shepherd and was paid in lambs and goats.

a) His father in law would say something like, “I’ll pay you the spotted ones”. Then “ all of a sudden”, most of the babies would be born spotted.

b) Then his father in law would say in effect, “OK, this is not fair. Jacob, I’m changing your wages to stripped lambs.” Then most of the babies that were born would come out stripped.

ii) Notice Laban never said, “Well, God must be blessing Jacob, maybe I should ask Jacob about his God”. Instead Laban figures it must be a coincidence or some sort of trick. People refuse to acknowledge the hand of God in their lives.

8. Jacob continues this speech to his wives. Verse 10: "In breeding season I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked, speckled or spotted. ¹¹ The angel of God said to me in the dream, `Jacob.' I answered, `Here I am.' ¹² And he said, `Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. ¹³ I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.' "

a) If you recall in the last chapter, there was this strange contract made by Jacob where he told Laban in effect, “Tell you what Laban, I’ll keep working for you, and I’ll just take the odd-ball sheep (“streaked, speckled and spotted”) from the flocks. This was where Jacob encouraged the mating with branch rods placed in the watering trough.

b) Apparently that whole event was based on a dream Jacob had. That dream is mentioned here in Verse 11 of Chapter 31.

i) Based on that dream, Jacob had the ingenuity to propose to Laban a business deal. This deal, on the surface is very favorable to Laban. By statistical odds, the type of sheep that were produced should have been rare.

ii) I believed God blessed Jacob’s ingenuity. The whole section in the last chapter about “peeling almond branches and placing them in the watering troughs to encourage breeding” may have been a superstition on Jacob’s part. The truth is that God made a promise that He wold bless Jacob in his wages and Jacob acted on that promise by agreeing to these wages and then watching his own flock grow.

c) Remember the purpose of this whole speech is to convince his wives it is time to get moving. In a sense this is an “altar call” to convert his wives to his God. J

a) For those who don’t know, many Christian churches ask people at the end of a worship service to step forward to commit their lives to Jesus. It is nicknamed an “altar call”.

ii) Remember that Rachel and Laban still had some affection for their father, despite his faults. It was the only life they knew.

iii) For them to leave their home, Jacob wanted them to come out of their own free will and not just order them to go.

iv) Jacob explained to them how God was working. Despite the statistical odds being against Jacob getting wealthy, the girls couldn’t deny the fact. Jacob was trying to get the girls to put “two and two together” and figure out God was blessing Jacob. If Jacob could convince them of that fact, it would be much easier for the girls to leave with Jacob as “His God” was commanding Jacob to leave.

v) Again, it might be good to stop and re-read these verses with this perspective.

a) Go ahead, I’ll wait again. I’m in no hurry. J

9. Verse 14: Then Rachel and Leah replied, "Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate? ¹⁵ Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. ¹⁶ Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you."

a) It might be helpful at this point to remember what is a “dowry”. When a man wanted to get married in this culture, they would have to pay a fee to the father-in law. This fee is called a “dowry”. The concept is that if the husband ever divorced the wife and she had to go home to her parents, the parents would use the dowry money to provide for her.

b) Jacob didn’t come to Laban with any money. Therefore, Jacob offered to work for 14 years in exchange for the two wives. The 14 years wages were supposed to be the dowry.

c) What Jacob’s two wives are complaining about is the fact that their father Laban has spent their dowry money instead of saving it for the girls.

d) Notice what Rachel and Leah don’t’ say:

i) They don’t say, “Jacob, you are our husband. We are to be obedient to you. We will go with you because you say so.”

ii) They don’t say, “Jacob, we choose to be obedient to God. If God says its time for the family to pack up and go, who are we to argue?”

iii) They don’t say, “Jacob, you’re such a great husband, we can’t wait to move back with you and meet your father!” J

iv) Instead, the girls are angry over their father spending their dowry money.

e) There is a more “optimistic view” of the two wives one can argue:

i) Jacob needed their cooperation in order to travel.

ii) Remember the two wives didn’t get along at all. They were jealous of each other and both desired to be alone with Jacob. This is the first time we read of them agreeing upon anything. Their desire to follow Jacob is greater than the desire to stay with their father. The dowry-incentive made them realize that Jacob’s life following God is superior to their father’s money-oriented lifestyle.

iii) Their final statement was, “So do whatever God has told you."

iv) They were still obedient to God, although their motivation was questionable.

v) Remember that God desires obedience above all other aspects. The “motivation factor” is a problem, but the end results is that the wives obeyed God’s command.

f) My opening thought of the day was “The apple does not fall far from the tree”.

i) Laban was a money-obsessive type of guy. Reading between the lines, financial success meant more to him than God did or even his family. If Laban cared about his daughters more than his success, he would have had a savings fund as a dowry for his daughters.

ii) Now here were his two daughters, who have grown up under Laban.

iii) Their motivation for leaving focuses on money. Like their father, they were motivated by financial reasons. They decided it was best to leave with Jacob, as their father didn’t provide for them any dowry if they left Jacob.

iv) Rereading this paragraph, the women do give some credit to God, but you still see the mixed message of “We will leave partially due to God and partially due to the money issue”. Their father’s influence had an affect upon their life.

10. Verse 17: Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, ¹⁸ and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan.

a) Verse 22 says that Laban didn’t notice Jacob was gone for 3 days. I read that verse and I kept thinking, “How could Laban not notice that his 11 grandchildren and his two daughters were missing for 3 days? Even if Laban was busy, somebody from his household must have noticed.

b) This leads back to the principal of “where God leads, God provides”. When God calls you to do something, God also works in the background to provide the means. In this case, everyone else in Laban’s household “didn’t notice” Jacob was gone along with all of the family, servants and possessions.

c) It’s time to go back to Verse 2 of this chapter. It says, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you."

i) Notice what Verse 2 does not say: “Sneak out in the middle of the night and run for your life.” It does not say, “Ignore Laban like he never existed and run for it!”

ii) We are going to read in the next several verses of Jacob’s fear. Jacob trusted in the true God, but he still walked in his own fears.

iii) Remember that Jacob is an under-construction-maturity-project by God.

iv) God is trying to mature Jacob on an incident-by-incident basis to get him to trust God more and more. This is one of those cases.

11. Verse 19: When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father's household gods.

a) We are going to read of two “sins” in Verse 19 and 20. In Verse 19, Rachel steals her father’s household gods and in Verse 20, we will read of Jacob deceiving his father in law by sneaking out in the middle of the night as opposed to saying goodbye.

b) Why would Rachel steal her father’s “household gods”?

i) Those “gods” were not necessarily little statues they bowed down and worshipped. They represented “title deeds” to their possessions. Further, they represented the god(s) that they worshipped.

ii) A similar idea might be one who has a little cross, or a Roman Catholic with a little statue of the Virgin Mary and then bowing down and praying before that icon.

iii) Laban’s god was materialism, prosperity and wealth. Those “gods” are symbolized in little idol statues. When people of those days worshiped the god of prosperity, they needed a symbol for those gods, and therefore, had statues.

a) Laban’s daughter Rachel “had some of her father in her”. She believed in the God of her husband Jacob, but still had some trust in the false god of her father Laban. (Again, think about “leave and cleave”).

iv) When the bible “first mentions” a word or topic it is often important. This is the first mention of a false-god. Those false idols have existed long before this incident. It is mentioned in context of someone from “God’s chosen” stealing that idol. The origin of this god is uncertain. It is believed to be used in divination and is associated with material wealth.

12. Verse 20: Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. ²¹ So he fled with all he had, and crossing the River, he headed for the hill country of Gilead.

a) Let’s go back to Verse 2. It says, “Then the LORD said to Jacob, "Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you."”.

i) Notice what God did not say: “Sneak off in the middle of the night and don’t say goodbye to anyone.”

ii) If God said it was time for Jacob to get moving, you can trust in the fact that God would make it possible. I suspect that if Jacob had told Laban what God had said to him, there would be a nice going away party.

iii) Jacob had a combination of faith-in-God and fear-of-circumstances at the same time. Remember that fear is the opposite is faith. Jacob is being obedient to God, but Jacob is allowing his fear of Laban to sneak out as opposed to saying goodbye.

iv) Notice Verse 20 mentions the fact that “Jacob deceived Laban”

a) This leads back to what I stated earlier how Laban was “blinded” to the fact that Jacob had left. Nobody noticed Jacob and the gang were gone for three days. God wanted Jacob to leave and despite Jacob’s deception, God “worked on Jacob’s level” to accomplish God’s will.

b) As we will read this does not excuse Jacob’s deception. It just means that God allowed it to happen in order to accomplish God’s purposes.

13. Verse 22: On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. ²³ Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. ²⁴ Then God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream at night and said to him, "Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad."

a) Verse 24 gets me. God tells Laban in a dream not to saying anything “good or bad”.

i) First of all, why would God speak to Laban in the first place? Let’s face it God could have “zapped” Laban in his pursuit of Jacob. God could have prevented him from coming after Jacob in the first place.

ii) Notice what God does not say. “Laban, you idol-worshipping, conniving, money-obsessed low-life! I want to bless Jacob and so will you when you see him!” J

b) God does not say, “Go out and bless Jacob”. Instead God tells Laban in a dream to go be “neutral” to Jacob leaving. Why would God do this and what is there to learn from this?

i) We get a clue in Verse 29 where Laban says, “I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, `Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.'”

ii) Therefore, part of the reason God spoke to Laban is to prevent Laban from harming Jacob. Laban was angry because he felt Jacob was “stealing” from him via his financial gains (Verse 1) and because his household “gods” which represented Laban’s wealth were missing (Verse 19).

c) We now understand why God didn’t want Laban to say anything bad. But why would God not want Laban to say anything “good” to Jacob as well?

i) My first thought is maybe God doesn’t want nonbelievers to praise believers, but I can think of examples in the bible where non